Thursday, April 21, 2011

How to remove an old stump

STEP ONE:  Stick head in ground and survey stumps size and the thickness of the roots.

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STEP TWO: Dig on one side of the stump deep beneath the grass.

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STEP THREE: Switch sides and dig on the opposite side of the stump

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STEP FOUR: Take a break. Bark at the hole to make sure there are no tunnel monsters** coming out of it.

      ** special note: tunnel monsters are known to exist in warm regions and like to hide in small dark places like tree stumps, sheds, and vacuum cleaners. They are easily dispelled by a Bark of Might or the Formidable Husky Yowl.

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STEP FIVE: Survey hole from within for  more intruders. When deemed safe, continue digging.

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STEP SIX: Call owner to remove stump. Clean dirt from tongue.

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2 comments:

  1. I like step six. Bless their little hearts, they give it their all!

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  2. "bless their little hearts"???!! you've gone all southern grandma James :)

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