Monday, October 7, 2013

SARAH’S BRIDAL’s (and a small RANT)

Sarah is a friend who got married a wee while ago and we traipsed down to the river’s edge after her wedding for her  bridals. We did this after the wedding which I think is the perfect solution to really getting to take your time and not stress about the dress. Sarah was awesome, this rant is not about her, it’s about photography.
Enter rant
Funny enough, my website is down (not that I think anyone noticed).and I’m not sure if I should renew the domain. I never got a notification about this, so they shut it down and now they want to charge me 100 bucks vs. 15. It’s making me question why I have a webpage since I don’t update it with new work and I’m not trying to advertise wedding work. Let’s face it, I’m CHEAP and why pay the money and continue? I’ve been trying to change photography directions for so long or maybe even stop photos all together.
For some reason I couldn’t quit cold turkey, but it’s been more and more confirmed that I should steer clear of that arena.
You see, the camera and I have a weird love hate relationship. I hate that I'm not growing or shooting so often and learning and moving forward. I think weddings burnt me out…burnt me out good. It’s annoying to me that I feel this way and yet still can be so passionate about it. I thought it was about finding my nitch…but as it turns out with art and photography, no ones really just going to pay you money to do whatever you want. ( For example the worlds really not going to pay me money to sit around at home and drink coffee and take pictures of my dog).
People are more than willing to shell out money for a cookie cutter idea of what they want…which you can’t really ever nail perfectly. (AKA every bride wants to look as amazing and beautiful and in love as the last one…but that’s really going to come down to the genuineness of the bride. Even the most skilled photographer has certain elements they cannot control)
I’m not saying this to complain, it’s just that I realized that it’s just part of the struggle of ART
that very battle:  between making things and getting paid
or between inspiration and writers block
or between freedom and lack of freedom
or between discipline and habit versus emotional sporadic production
those struggles, at war with one another, equally can quell us towards making stuff. And when you continue to make stuff, and see things, and push forward in spite of the intimidating yang-yangs….
THEN when you’re embracing those dual natures, you hit why we even attempt art to begin with. For surely I have come to realize that while it might be a chase for personal aesthetic, it’s also a chase to try to find ourselves. And there’s certainly no foolproof way to do that.
And that’s why the balance between between making things for free and getting paid big bucks is a warfront.
Why inspiration and writers block are a teetering see-saw.
Why our circumstances created different starting points in which we are either totally free to create or restricted by guidelines (or point of view, or circumstances, or personalities or financial limitations).
and why each artist find his or herself at odds with the way in which they produce, be it through the hard work discipline and habit or the daring highs and lows of emotional sporadic production.
and lastly why many artists will falter between being burned out but rebirth again to burning with passion.

Alas world, the creative process is schizophrenic!
but because of it, we have such a wide array of beauty found in all sorts of places
telling us stories
sharing dreams
creating the ability to relate to one another
and that, my friends, is art.
( and yes I plan I renewing the website even if it means redirection, but ain’t no way on this green planet I’m paying again for what I already bought….I’m still cheap).
gill-3bgill-12ngill-30b gilbrid-74
Fun fact: last time you saw Sarah on the blog,she was dressed as an equally adorable beanie baby!


  1. Sarah, I'm so glad you're keeping your site! I did notice it went down, but was too cowardly to send a message saying: "Uhh... there's... no... Uhm... you might want to look at your website...." Haha! I hate that to be successful in blogging, selling, and photography you have to develop a "brand" and if you develop outside of that brand it's not met with very accepting arms.

    At any rate, you take AWESOME pictures, and I hope even if you don't do it all the time that you still keep it up. you have a great gift, and I believe the Lord gives us gifts to use them. Even if they don't make us money. Haha! Which... I would love to try and combine, but ahhh.... such is life... Good luck (and a fountain of patience) redoing your site!

  2. I agree, you've got a great gift and mad skills. I'm amazed by your last post of the band that you are able to get shots like that in such a dark venue. I wouldn't stand a chance with that lighting. Idea: Approach all the local bands you can find with pics like these and I'll bet a lot of them would hire you to shoot a show. Who wouldn't want to see themselves looking like full-on stadium style rock stars? No matter what though, just keep shooting. Oh, and how about a post on how to take great shots like those in the dark. :)

    1. Bumfuzzle family! you guys are so so sweet- thank you so much. I like your band idea and I think I just might have a dark lighting photography post up my sleeve...I'm on it. Thank you for your encouragement.

  3. i love this post. it's raw and your real thoughts! i can almost hear you saying them (with a mug of coffee in hand). : ) i. just. love. you!

    Also, your pictures are beautiful! again...i just love you!


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